


IT'S COMPLICATED

by cooloddball



Series: SUPERNATURAL [DESTIEL] CODAS [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Castiel is Steve a sales associate, Coming Untouched, Dean Winchester gives amazing blowjobs, Fix-it fic, M/M, One Shot, Smut, blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cooloddball/pseuds/cooloddball
Summary: Based on the fanfiction gap on season 9 episode 6, 'Heaven Can't Wait', when Dean and Cas leave together in the Impala at night and the next time we see them is the morning.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Human Castiel - Relationship
Series: SUPERNATURAL [DESTIEL] CODAS [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2011573
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	IT'S COMPLICATED

“Where to Cas?” Dean asked staring at his friend.

Cas’s face was sullen, his blue eyes icy as he opened baby’s passenger door and got in without a word. Dean sighed and followed suit getting behind the driver’s seat. Cas was hurt, and somehow it was his fault because if he had not chased him out of the bunker, he wouldn’t be going through all this turmoil. _But I did it for Sammy. I had to hurt my best friend to save my brother._

They drove in silence, Dean once in a while glancing at Cas’ face but Cas didn’t look back at him, he was staring outside tightly holding the piece of cloth on his palm to keep the bleeding from the cut contained. Dean could see his friend was heartbroken, he was jovial hours ago when he thought he was going on a date, he had even picked a rose, _what a romantic sap_. Cas did not deserve to be hurt, he was one of the few angels that was not a dick. He was human now, yes, but still an angel. He deserved better.

Dean spun baby at the parking lot of ‘blue pines motel’, he parked and held the door handle ready to step out.

“I’ll be right back Cas, I will get us a room,” he said looking at his friend. Cas turned around and met Dean’s eyes with a frown on his face and nodded.

He did not say anything.

Ten minutes later, Dean was opening the passenger door for Cas and dangling a room Key, “room 10 it’s at the far left corner,” he said handing the keys to Cas.

“And you?” Cas asked with a confused expression on his face.

“We are sharing, it’s a double. I just need to get some things from the car and I will be right there with you,” Dean said closing baby’s passenger door and walked towards the boot.

Cas let out an exhausted sigh and walked towards room 10 of the motel as Dean watched him intently. _How do I make this better?_ He wondered as he got a first aid kit and his overnight bag which had his clothes, two guns, holy water, rock salt, a wooden stake, angel blade, demon knife and a silver blade in case a monster decided to show up at their doorstep.

When he got to the room, Cas wasn't in the vicinity, he started panicking thinking that maybe he left. He called his phone but it rang on the small nightstand drawer of the bed nearest to the bathroom. He dropped the overnight bag on the other bed and walked towards the bed that Cas had claimed. He pulled the drawer out and found Cas’ phone then he heard the shower running. He relaxed and started removing his boots, jacket and plaid overshirt. He then took out his phone and ordered four burgers and two large fries. He was famished and he knew Cas was too.

Cas walked out of the bathroom with a towel draped around his waist and the clothes he had worn earlier on his hand all crumbled.

Dean swallowed. Cas had a nice frame. Not that he hadn’t seen him partially naked before but this was something else. This wasn’t immediately after a battle with a monster and he was busy checking his wounds and he would catch a glimpse of his skin. Or that time when they thought the world was ending and Dean did not want Cas dying a virgin when their animalistic desire took over but they could not be bothered to take their clothes off, they had spent a passionate night together ending with Cas buried deep inside Dean and the words “I don’t want to die Cas” and “me either Dean” being repeated over and over. Now they were here, six years later. When their animalistic desire took over but could not be bothered to take their clothes off. No, this was a fully naked upper torso. Wet. Muscles rippling upon miles of smooth tan skin. _Wow_.

“I need something to wear. I don’t have a change of clothes,” Cas said dropping his dirty clothes on the bed.

Dean’s mouth had somehow gone dry and he licked his lips then cleared his throat.

“Sure buddy. We are about the same size, I’m sure I can find you a pair of clean boxers and a t-shirt for you to wear,” he said rummaging through his night bag, "I also saw that the motel has a 24-hour dry cleaning service, I will take your clothes there and we will pick them up in the morning."

“Okay. Thank you, Dean," Cas said as he took a black t-shirt and a pair of black boxers from Dean and disappeared into the bathroom to dress up.

When he came back, his clothes and Dean were gone. He figured he had taken the clothes for dry cleaning. He felt tired and sad and the cut on his hand, though it had stopped bleeding, it hurt. He hated being human. _Sigh_. He saw the first aid kit on Dean’s bedside table and decided to clean his cut as he had seen Dean and Sam do it many times before.

As he was busy dabbing the antiseptic on the cut, the motel door opened and Dean walked in holding two brown bags and a six-pack of beer.

“Dinner!” he said joyfully. Cas smiled. The first smile since they got out of that house. The house, he needed to forget about the house. Dean placed the food on the small round dining table in the middle of the room and walked towards Cas, who was seated on Dean’s bed, his thick thighs bursting out of his, Dean’s, boxers. Dean felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard.

“Here, let me,” Dean said helping Cas wrap the bandage and gauze on his palm. “There, all done.”

“Thank you, Dean," Cas said sincerely looking at Dean with those big blue eyes that looked so innocent and lost.

Dean’s heart ached. “It’s nothing buddy. Look, let me hit the shower and then we can eat. In the meantime, why don’t you catch up with some real housewives or something on t.v. and drink some beer, I won’t be long,” Dean said taking a t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants to the bathroom.

"I don't watch real housewives, Dean," Cas said after him but Dean didn’t hear him and if he did, he had ignored him because Cas heard the bathroom door close and the shower start running as he sat on the sofa and switched on the television. When Dean came back from the bathroom, Cas was slowly sipping beer while changing channels on the television on the sofa.

“All done, come on let’s eat,” Dean said startling Cas from his reverie, “I’m starving.”

“You are always starving Dean,” Cas said as a matter of fact.

"Hey, don't judge me, I'm a grown boy. I need food. Do you think all this is built on gunking monsters alone? Dean asked motioning dramatically to his entire body. Cas laughed at the comment as he walked towards Dean on the dining table and sat opposite Dean.

"I'm famished, Dean. Being human I so taxing. I have to eat all the time, pee all the time, brush my teeth, sleep. I hate sleeping, I am not very good at it," Cas said as he watched Dean arrange the food on paper plates.

“Tell me about it buddy. Been doing it for the past 35 years of my life. Welcome to being human,” Dean said taking a bite of his burger and moaned, Cas did the same and took a sip of his beer.

“So good,” Cas said taking another bite with his eyes closed.

“I know buddy. Why do you think I eat burgers all the time,” Dean said and they both laughed.

They made small talk as they both ate two burgers, fries and three beers between them. They had moved to the sofa at some point and were watching a game show on the television without actually paying attention.

“Hey Cas, buddy, I’m sorry about your date tonight,” Dean said without taking his eyes off Cas. Cas was sitting on his legs folded on the sofa like a Buddhist sipping his beer slowly.

“I don’t want to talk about it Dean,” Cas said looking at Dean’s profile. Maybe Dean did not hear him or if he did he did not care.

“Cas, I know I don’t talk about my problems and you know what that has done to me over the years. I don’t want you to become what I have become. I want you to be better. You are my best friend and I want you to be happy. Learn from my mistakes Cas,” Dean said turning to look at Cas. He placed his beer on the floor next to his feet.

“Some best friend you are,” Cas said with an edge of sarcasm in his voice.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Dean asked. They were now facing each other, Dean sitting on his right leg folded on the sofa his left leg dangling off the sofa. He knew exactly what Cas meant but he wanted to play innocent to avoid admitting to himself what he had done to Cas when he had needed him the most.

“You know what, I need to go to bed. I am not having this conversation with you,” Cas said getting off the sofa and heading towards his bed. He did not even finish his beer.

Dean did not know how he got off the sofa because the next thing he knew, his hand was on Cas’s shoulder flipping him around. Cas’s eyes were more sad than angry and Dean felt his heartbreak. He had done this to Cas and now he was suffering because of him. “Let go of me Dean,” Cas said without making any effort to rid himself of Dean’s hand on his shoulder.

"No Cas. Not until you talk to me. I need you to at least be angry with me. Anything. I hate seeing you like this. I miss you, buddy," Dean said.

“I am stronger than you Dean albeit being human now. I don’t want to hurt you,” Cas said looking Dean dead in his green eyes.

“Hurt me if you must. But we need to talk about this,” Dean said placing his other hand on Cas’ other shoulder.

“I…I..” Cas started but he couldn’t form any coherent sentences. All his suffering for the past few months had been a boulder that his human shoulders could not carry. It had all come crashing through his mind like a dam had broken inside his mind and all the pain came flooding back. He felt all of it tug at his throat then his chest felt constricted, his eyes felt peppery and the next thing he knew, he had tears running down his face.

“Hey buddy, don’t cry. I’m here okay,” Dean said leading Cas to his, Dean’s, bed. He sat him down and watched him, with his hand on Cas shoulder. “Talk to me.”

“I can’t Dean,” Cas sobbed, “I…I... I needed you but you threw me out like..like..garbage. I have always been there for you, always. But when I needed you, you cast me out. I’ve suffered Dean, I thought…sob...that you would teach me how to be human. How to live...but…now, here we are… _sob_ …nothing is working. Not even a date. I am useless as a human being… _sob_ ”

“Cas, hey, it’s not like that. I wanted to help. I still do. You just couldn’t stay. Sam needed me. You needed me. I..I had to choose Sam. I wanted to choose you too but I couldn’t. He is my baby brother and I am all he has… I just thought…I should’ve shown you the way Cas but I failed you and for that I am sorry,” Dean said sincerely.

“I just want to forget it all. It’s too much. All the emotions, hardships…I can't do it, Dean. I just can't," Cas was now shaking, his face buried in his hands.

“Cm’ere buddy,” Dean said holding him in his arms, rocking him. “I just want to forget Dean. I wish I was an angel again. Things were so much easier. Methodical,” he sobbed on Dean’s shoulder.

“It’s okay buddy. I’m here. I will be here for you. Shhh..shhh..it’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” Dean soothed still rocking him. He went ahead and also buried his head in Cas neck. “I’m so sorry Cas.”

Cas smelled liked soap and Dean’s clothes. Dean could feel his rock hard muscles that rippled through his t-shirt. This was no longer a vessel. This was all Cas now. His body was all toned from all the battles he and Dean and Sam had fought together. Against Lucifer, angels, demons, monsters. All of it. Cas was Dean’s family and he had discarded him like he was nothing. Cas had always been there for him, he had rebelled against his brothers and sisters for him, and his thanks had been to throw him out when he needed him. He could’ve found a way to help him but he had not and now, Cas was heartbroken and lost. All because of him. These thoughts broke Dean’s heart.

Dean felt tears roll down his face and touch Cas’ t-shirt. Cas tried to look up but Dean held him and cried too. He cried for letting Cas down, he cried for letting him go, he cried for not being able to tell him why he chose Sam and not both of them. He needed Sammy to be better and Gadreel was doing that and if he had chosen Cas too, Sammy would die. Or so Gadreel had said. So how was he supposed to live with his brother’s death? He had to choose Sammy.

“I wish I could forget,” Cas said again, his body shaking.

Dean inhaled Cas once more, he smelled so good and the heat from his body was soothing. He could do at least one thing for his friend, to make him forget.

“Let me make you forget, even if it’s for a while Cas,” Dean whispered as he kissed Cas’ neck. “Dean, what are you doing?” Cas asked detangling himself from Dean and wiping the drying tears from his face.

“I failed you Cas, and now I can help you. I can help you forget,” Dean said looking at Cas through tear-stained, red-rimmed lids at Cas’ blue orbs.

“Dean, I...we...I..." Cas started but couldn’t finish. He liked what Dean had done to his neck and so he remained quiet thereafter. He looked at Dean and gave him a small nod, he needed to forget, they both needed to forget, if only for a night.

Dean didn’t need to be told what to do because he knew what he wanted to do to his best friend. He had wanted since the first almost apocalypse, every time thereafter, he had wanted this but he had been a coward to ask for it. Cas was an angel whose main task was to protect Dean and how could he let his human needs distract Cas from his mission, but then here they were, both human, desperate with need. A need to forget the world for a moment and find solace in each other.

Dean kissed Cas’ neck again, and Cas let him, moaning to the sensation. Dean continued and nibbled and sucked his clavicle, leaving a red mark. Marking Cas as he had wanted to do for the longest time now. He then turned and kissed Cas’s jaw while running his nose on his stubble, nibbling and gently sucking. He then looked at Cas, Blue eyes blown with want, with need and then down his dry pink lips and he felt the need to moisten them, so he did. He licked Cas’ lower lip with fervour, and Cas opened for him and the next thing he knew, he was kissing Cas’ mouth, tongues dancing together. A tent was forming on the crotch of the grey sweat pants he was wearing. The sinful moans Cas was making encouraging him more. He pushed Cas gently on the bed and he laid on top of him. Cas was hard too and was running his hands on Dean’s back.

They sat back up again and their clothes came off in record time, hands grasping, tongues licking, mouths sucking, somehow, they had ended up laid on the bed with Dean on top of Cas again, his erection poking Cas’ thigh. Cas was running his long fingers down Dean’s freckled back while Dean’s mouth sucked on his tongue. Dean stopped and looked at Cas, green eyes now dark with desire, pink lips swollen and almost red.

Cas linked their lips together again after catching a breath. Dean disentangled their bodies and trailed wet kisses down Cas’ body. He reached his groin and sucked on his sensitive thighs causing Cas to writhe beneath him.

“Dean please…” Cas begged his voice husky and wrecked. Dean looked up at him with hooded blown eyes, a smirk on his lips and without warning, swallowed him down to the hilt. Cas bucked his hips and arched his back causing his cock to hit the back of Dean’s throat. Dean was trying to laugh, maybe, with his mouth full and the rumble from the back of his throat surged through Cas' dick down to his toes, through his body and into his brain.

All he felt now was pleasure and need to release. All coherent thoughts had left his brain. Dean sucked down Cas’ cock like a pro. He then took his balls in his mouth while jerking Cas’ cock and trailing his index finger down to Cas’ perineum and that did it. Cas started shaking with release and Dean not wanting to miss it, he sucked his cock back into his mouth tasting Cas' release in his mouth. He licked him one last time and removed his mouth from the softening wet cock and held Cas whose eyebrows were tented, eyes closed with his left hand on his forehead; panting.

After what seemed like an eternity, Cas' heart rate calmed down and the chilly night air tingled his skin from the cooling sweat on his chest, he turned to face Dean who was trailing kisses down his arm.

“That was…wow,” Cas said with a soft smile on his face.

“I know,” Dean said kissing Cas on the mouth and snuggled closer.

“Did I make you forget?” “Forget what?”

“That’s what I thought,” Dean said with a chuckle.

“Let me take care of you too.”

“No Cas, I’m fine. This was about you.”

“Dean.”

“ _Jesus,_ Cas, I came from sucking you off. Okay?”

“What?!”

“Yeah. You are amazing, you know that. Seeing you come just does things to me.”

They were quiet for a while, the only sound in the room was their shallow breathing and the sound cars passing on the road outside the motel.

“What?” Cas asked as he felt Dean watching him.

“Nothing, it’s just that, I never thought we would ever do this again,” Dean said running his left hand on Cas’ chest.

“After the Apocalypse that did not happen?” Cas asked shifting to adjust his body so that now they were lying on their sides facing each other.

“I know. Things were…still are…”

“Complicated?”

“Yeah.” _Sigh_.

“I’m sorry Cas, for everything. I wish I could tell you more but…”

“I understand Dean. And it’s Steve now.”

“Okay, Mr. big shot sales associate.” They went silent again.

“I wish things were different,” Dean said his eyes sad.

“Me too,” Cas said, his blue eyes equally sad but he extended his hand to touch Dean’s face. Dean held it and kissed it. Cas yawned. “Sleepy?” Dean asked.

“Yes. Being human is very taxing Dean.” Dean laughed.

“Preaching to the choir buddy. Turn so I can hold you,” Dean said. Cas kissed him, and Dean kissed him back with fervour.

After their make-out session, Cas turned facing his unoccupied bed and Dean held him tight and close to his warm body. The last thing Cas remembered as he drifted off to sleep was a rough duvet that smelled like cheap detergent covering him and Dean kissing his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry Cas. I wish I could’ve done things differently.” For the first time since he became human, he felt safe.

Cas woke up to the sound of the front door closing. He opened his eyes and saw Dean fully dressed holding two coffees, a brown paper bag and a laundry bag.

“Morning sunshine,” Dean said merrily setting the food on the table and walked towards Cas on the bed and kissed him on the mouth.

“What time is it?” Cas asked getting out of bed, not realizing that he was still naked beneath the covers.

“Wow,” Dean said his eyes travelling downwards to look at Cas’ morning erection.

“Sorry, I forgot about that,” Cas said grabbing Dean's boxer's that he wore from last night and put them on as Dean cleared his throat, his cheeks and neck turning red and handed him his clothes from the laundry.

“Time, yeah uh, it’s a quarter past seven,” Dean said looking at his phone.

“I have to be at work by eight. Can you give me a ride? Cas asked while zipping his trousers, his bare chest glaring at Dean and Dean licked his lips that had suddenly gotten dry.

“Yeah, yes, sure. Anything buddy.” Dean said, “I bought breakfast. I figured you would need something to eat before work and all.”

"Thanks, Dean," Cas said walking towards the dining table and retrieving a powdered doughnut from the brown bag and shoving it in his mouth and moaned. Dean watched him and smiled.

“I missed you so much Cas, you have no idea,” Dean said joining Cas at the table as he also took a doughnut from the bag.

After that, they ate in silence. Once they were done and Dean was all packed up and checked out of the motel room with Cas waiting for him in the car, Dean felt conflicted. He wished he could spend more time with Cas, be with him. But things were complicated and he didn’t know what to do. When he got into the car and started the engine with Cas sitting by his side, he knew he couldn’t have Cas, at least not yet, not when things were like this. But in their world, and the lives they lived, when were things not complicated?

“Look Cas, about last night…” Dean started, looking at Cas with a solemn look on his face.

“I know Dean. It is okay,” Cas said mirroring Dean’s solemn face and he looked out of the window.

“One day, when all this is over, we could continue where we left off, or even start over.”

“Yes. That sounds good. I would love that.” _Silence_.

“Cas, if you need anything, and I mean anything, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Okay Dean,” Cas said managing a rather not so convincing smile on his face.

“Also, here is one of my, our, credit cards,” Dean said handing Cas one of the many credit cards he and Sam used to keep up their lifestyle. “It has like two thousand on it, so it will last you a while.”

“Dean, I have a job now, and a small apartment. I’m fine.”

“I know, but, in case of an emergency, use this. It’s the least I can do after everything you have done for me, buddy. I should've done before...sending you away,” Dean said taking a left turn to enter the parking lot of the gas and sip that Cas worked at.

Cas took the card and put it in his shirt pocket, then took his work vest from Dean’s back sit and put it on. When they said goodbye for the millionth time since they had met, they both knew that things would _never not_ be complicated in their lives, but at least there was hope that someday, maybe even in another lifetime, they would find each other.


End file.
